Asteroid Clash – Skit

A quick six minute skit from French TV, and the French curse like crazy, so please be aware that you’re going to learn more than you may wish to…this video is part of the Studio Bagel collection, which you may want to subscribe to on YouTube.

Alerte secteur 69 Sector Alert 69
Alerte secteur 69 Sector Alert 69
Général, il arrive General, it happens
Quoi ? What?
L’astéroïde vient d’augmenter sa vitesse The asteroid has just increased its speed
Il fonce sur la terre à 200 kilomètres/seconde It races to the earth at 200 km / second
Les missiles ? The missiles?
Echec Failure
Les ogives ? The warheads?
Pareil The same
Les bombes sismiques? Seismic bombs?
Non No
Si on ne fait rien, il percutera la terre If nothing is done, it will strike the ground
Et détruira notre civilisation And will destroy our civilization
Dans 58 minutes In 58 minutes
Putain d’astéroïde de merde F*ck asteroid sh*t
Qu’est-ce qu’il s’est passé là ? What happened there?
Attendez, redites-ce que vous avez dit là Wait, repeat-what you said there
Putain d’astéroïde de merde F*ck asteroid sh*t
Ok OK
Cet astéroïde réagit aux clashs. Continuez ! This asteroid reacts to clashes. Continue!
euh Uh
euh Uh
Ben ouais le météore Ben yeah the meteor
…par rapport au fait que… … compared to the fact that …
Je sais pas, j’ai la pression. I do not know, I have the pressure.
Laissez tomber, laissez tomber. Drop it, drop it.
Je veux les meilleurs. I want the best.
On se retrouve en direct depuis le siège de la NAZA We meet directly with the headquarters of the NASA
Où vient d’arriver à l’instant le rappeur DPimpact Where the rapper DPimpact just arrived
Qui est selon nos experts sur place Who is according to our experts on the spot
Notre dernière chance de sauver l’humanité Our last chance to save mankind
Mais le rappeur ne semble pas plus angoissé que ça But the rapper does not seem more anxious than that
Il prend même le temps de faire des selfies He even takes time to make selfies
De signer des autographes à ses fans To sign autographs for his fans
Alors même que le destin… Even though fate …
Général ? General?
Il est là ! He’s there !
T’es qu’un p’tit caillou You’re a little pebble
Tu dépasses pas la taille d’un gravillon You do not exceed the size of a gravel
On pourrait te détourner We could hijack you
Avec un battement d’aile de papillon With a butterfly wing flap
Prends pas la grosse tête Do not take the big head
Retourne sucer la queue d’une comète Return sucking a comet’s tail
Je te trouve gênant I find you troublesome
Comme quelques grains de sable au fond d’une chaussette Like some grains of sand at the bottom of a sock
Je vais te mettre minable I’ll put you shabby
En live sur périscope Live on periscope
T’es tellement petit que pour t’observer You’re so small that to watch you
On a besoin d’un téléscope We need a telescope
Quand je pense au temps perdu par les chercheurs When I think about the time lost by researchers
Qui t’ont épié Who have watched you
Alors que pour t’arrêter il fallait juste une pince à épiler While to stop you needed just a tweezers
Regardez, ça marche Look, it works
L’astéroïde s’effrite, regardez. The asteroid crumbles, look.
Si je puis me permettre général, If I may be general,
J’aimerais moi aussi proposer… I would also like to propose–
chhhhhhhhttt Chhhhhhhhttt
Continuez, continuez Continue, continue
T’es le plus faible You’re the weakest
De tous les astéroïdes Of all the asteroids
Tu veux te battle avec nous You want to fight with us
Reprend une cuillère de stéroïdes Takes a spoonful of steroids
Si la terre était un ovule, If the Earth was an ovum,
Tu serais pas le bon spermatozoïde You would not be the right sperm
J’aurais plus mal au cul avec un bon vieil hemorroïde I would have more trouble in the ass with a good old hemorrhoid
T’es qu’un vieux débris, You’re an old debris,
Un genre de SDF sidéral A kind of sidereal SDF
T’es à la rue You’re on the street
T’inquiète je vais appeler le samu Worry I’ll call the samu
spatial Spatial
Ben ouais mon gars Ben yeah my guy
T’aurais pas dû nous clasher You should not have clashed us
Vas-y casse-toi Go for it
Bien profond dans ta voie lactée Deep in your Milky Way
Putain mais ça marche bordel de merde F*ck but it’s crappy crap
Lilian, il reste combien de temps là ? Lilian, how long is there?
Lilian ? Lilian?
Il est où Lilian ? Where is Lilian?
Tu vas te prendre dans la gueule You’re gonna take you in the face
Mes 10 ans d’études d’astronomie My 10 years of astronomy
Je suis pas le premier à te découvrir I’m not the first to discover you
Giuseppe Piazzi Giuseppe Piazzi
Tu rentres dans mon orbite You go into my orbit
Tu te prends pour un géocroiseur You think you’re a NEO
J’ai plutôt l’impression que t’es, un adéocroiseur I rather have the impression that you, a telescope
Si je jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee If I jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Qu’est-ce qu’il fait là ? What is he doing there?
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeete un oeil Eeeeeete an eye
A ta classification spectrale To the spectral classification
Je me rends compte I realize
Que t’es de type C That you’re type C
Han, même pas mal Han, not bad
Je vais te visiter, façon Naer Schumaker I will visit you, Naer Schumaker way
Général, son flow est trop aléatoire General, its flow is too random
L’astéroïde ne réagit plus The asteroid no longer reacts
Mais mettez quelqu’un d’autre putain But put somebody other f*cker
Nos experts ont pu contacter une certaine Alyssa Our experts were able to contact a certain Alyssa
Si on arrive à établir une connexion, If you can establish a connection,
Ça peut marcher That could work
Ne fais pas ça Do not do that
Il faut laisser parler ce coeur de pierre Let’s talk about this heart of stone
Qui veut qu’une chose c’est s’exprimer Who wants one thing to express itself
Douleur primaire Primary pain
Écoute-moi Listen to me
* Absence de clash * * No Clash *
* Absence de clash * * No Clash *
Je mérite pas ça I do not deserve this
Tu m’as laissée alone telle le soulier de Cendrillon You left me alone like the shoe of Cinderella
Mais je suis pas une chaussure à talons But I’m not a heeled shoe
Regarde-moi Look at me
C’est quoi ça ? What is that ?
Je sais pas I dunno
Mon mec est en prison My guy is in jail
Oh mon Dimitri Oh my Dimitri
T’es le babtou de ma vie You’re the babtou of my life
Ça va être dur de patienter It’s going to be hard to wait
Tes cunis d’un quart d’heure Your cunis of a quarter of an hour
Vont me manquer Will miss me
Oh mon Dimitri Oh my Dimitri
J’ai rasé mon pubis I shaved my pubis
Mais vous voyez que ça marche pas bordel de merde But you see it does not work messy shit
Putain faites quelque chose F*ck do something
C’est Young Chapo 2 Paille This is Young Chapo 2 Straw
Ça fait 10 ans qu’il a pas posé son flow It’s been 10 years since he put his flow
T’as reconnu le vaisseau You recognized the ship
Je ride à bord du cockpit I ride on the cockpit
Check la grosse bite Check the big cock
J’ai le même flow qu’Han Solo sans être un cosplay I have the same flow as Han Solo without being a cosplay
Tu sais qu’avec des petits mots je fais des grosses blessures You know that with small words I make big wounds
Pour un astéroïde t’es bien trop lassdeg For an asteroid you’re far too lassdeg
Personne te regarde comme le foot féminin No one looks at you like feminine foot
Ta mère a honte Your mother is ashamed
De la famille t’es le plus vilain From the family you’re the most naughty
Du coup je te monte en l’air avec la droite de Krilin So I ride you in the air with the right of Krilin
Ta meuf je la monte en l’air Your girl I ride her in the air
Rien qu’elle crie mon prénom Nothing she shouts my first name
Un carnage c’est ce que tu veux asséner A carnage is what you want to assassinate
Tu sais pas clasher, You do not know clasher,
Je suis la vodka t’es le panaché I’m the vodka t’es the variegated
Je vais pas te lâcher I’m not gonna let you go
Sans que t’ai ramassé Without you picked up
Je suis trop doué I’m too talented
A côté de moi Michael Phelps sait pas nager Next to me Michael Phelps can not swim
Donc je suis désolé de t’annoncer So I’m sorry to announce you
T’es mort dans tes dents la ‘teille j’ai tej You died in your teeth the ???
Tu sais pas viser You do not know
Pour ça faut que tu rates pas les lancers For that you must not shoot throws
Tu ferais mieux de partir et plus y penser You better leave and think more
Sur ta tombe c’est là que l’on va danser On your grave this is where we will dance
* Impact imminent * * Impending Impact *
* Impact imminent * * Impending Impact *
dix 10
neuf 9
huit 8
sept 7
six 6
cinq 5
quatre 4
trois 3
deux 2
J’aimerais jeter un slam I would like to throw a slam
Pour mes frères les humains For my brothers the humans
A qui on pense pas assez à dire je t’aime au lever le matin To whom we think not enough to say I love you at morning rise

 

Capturing YouTube Transcripts

This is a very handy skill to have, if you are a self-taught language learner, because it allows you to create your own study material from the dozens to thousands of videos available on YouTube, in your target language.

How to Get Dialogues from YouTube Videos:

  1. Look for language videos that have their own Italian transcript (not automatically generated by Google Translate). Under the video are three areas, “Add to”, “Share” and “More”.  Choosing “More” will reveal three more choices (normally), and they are “Report”, “Transcript” and “Statistics”. You want to choose “Transcript”. Not every video has the “Transcript” option, but a quality language video normally does.
  2. The “Transcript” window will appear, showing time and translation. Simply reading along with it during the video being played will reveal its accuracy and value to you.
  3. If the translation is accurate and not auto-generated, you can copy the lines and paste them into Excel. I like to keep destination formatting when I paste, so I paste as text only.
  4. The result is a line with a time and then some text, then time, text, alternating to the end. Highlight the column and choose “Find” / “Replace”. In the Find box, insert *:** and leave the Replace box empty. Replace all. All of the numbers should have disappeared. Close the Find/Replace program.
  5. Highlight the column again, and press F5. Choose “Special…” and then choose “Blanks”, and then OK. This will highlight only the blank rows. On the top of the program, choose Delete Rows.
  6. Copy the lines of text in the column, and paste into Translate Google. Convert to your target language. Copy that and paste into the column next to your original language text, in Excel.
  7. Manipulate further as you wish, ex. Copy into Notepad and remove the line breaks.

Alternate, non-numbered instructions:

Since I have six language blogs, and hate spending time typing, when I wish to spend that time listening, I learned how to capture YouTube video transcripts for my blogs. This is how you do it:

How to Get Dialogues from YouTube Videos:

Look for language videos that have their own transcript (not automatically generated by Google Translate). Under the video, there are three choices, “Add to”, “Share” and “More”.

Choosing “More” will reveal three more choices (normally), and those choices are “Report”, “Transcript” and “Statistics”.

You want to choose “Transcript”. Not every video has the “Transcript” option, but a quality language video normally does. Click it.

The “Transcript” window will appear, showing time and translation. Simply reading along with it during the video being played will reveal its accuracy and value to you.

If the translation is accurate and not auto-generated, you can copy the lines and paste them into Excel. I like to keep destination formatting when I paste, so I paste as text only. You want to have one line of text, and the next line have the time stamp, alternating to the end.

Highlight the Excel column and choose “Find” / “Replace”.

In the Find box, insert *:** and leave the Replace box empty. Then click “Replace all”.

All of the numbers should have disappeared. Unfortunately, if the line has a “:” in it, that line also disappears, so check for empty lines and then copy and replace them individually.

Close the Find/Replace program.

Highlight the column again, and press F5. A dialogue box will appear.

Choose “Special…” and then choose “Blanks”, and then OK. This will highlight only the blank rows.

On the top of the Excel program, choose “Delete Rows”. All the blank lines will disappear, and now you only have text lines.

If you wish, copy the lines of text in the column, and paste them into Translate Google. Convert to your target language.

You can also Copy and paste into the column next to your original language text, in Excel.

If you wish, you can copy the texts into other programs, like Notepad and remove the line breaks.

One More Time – French Dialogue

This may be the last one I post. I think my notebook now has a solid variety of dialogues that anyone can work with. I covered how to capture the transcript from YouTube on my Italian blog today, and described how to convert transcripts into scripts that you can use for your self-study. I may, in the future, do that process to many of these video dialogue collections, so if you check back in a few months, you may find that I’ve done the work for you.

I plan on closing my notebook timeline very soon, as I feel there are not many things my notebook lacks. If you’ve been following me since the beginning, I hope you have found this blog motivating and helpful. It took a lot of time and effort, but I enjoyed the process, most of the time.

Even More Dialogues

This video has a fairly accurate transcript, even though they spelled French as “Frensh” on the main splash page (it’s an Arabic version of French, and the channel helps Arabic speakers learn English and French). The dialogue appears to be automatically generated with very few mistakes. Many of the auto generated transcripts I’ve seen are horrible, especially for movies. I believe that movie transcript inaccuracies may be caused by background noise and special effects that confuse the translator.

To find the transcript for this video, go to YouTube, click the “More” option at the bottom of the video, and choose “Transcript”. On the 23rd, I’ll have a post on how to capture and manipulate the transcript, which comes in very handy when you wish to have a printed version of the material. If you are working with a language partner on Skype, or http://www.gospeaky.com or http://www.lang-8.com, it often helps to have several dialogues in both languages, to work with.

It would take me very little time (15 minutes?) to capture the dialogue, translate it, and lay it out in the proper manner. If you’re looking for examples of this, I am completing a campaign of dialogues on my Italian blog, http://www.duolinguisto.wordpress.com, so take a look at what the final version would look like.

These are the links for some very useful French dialogue YouTube channels:

francaise en dialogue: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoejp2Yl88dVi0L3WRYtp2A

learn frensh and english: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3SYzPX3A-uBLCPZOwcgT4A

Tarik Elamari: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-lE2VerSaSaBZO4tQmj9Ow

and one that appears to be just starting to post French material…

That Language Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkLXgkmpqk0gyBsbo4ALUpA

To download a video, you might use a Firefox Browser with this addon:

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/video-downloadhelper/?src=hp-dl-mostpopular

150 Dialogues in French

Don’t let the cartoon cover page fool you. This video contains 150 collegiate level French dialogues that span almost three hours in total. Each short dialogue can provide you with a great deal of listening practice and vocabulary review, with a variety of speakers. The transition music between the dialogues is a bit amusing for those of us who lived through the 70’s.